Some songs came out this week, but obviously it’s impossible to talk about all of them so here’s two. Which is basically all of them anyway. First, PSY made new sounds to accompany strange dancing and weird, dress-like trousers. Frankie Plummer watched the new video and possibly experienced another plane of existence, or else just died:

Psy is a person who released a song called “Gangnam Style” which is popular and made people dance.

He has released another song called “Gentleman”. The music video is ironic as in the video he doesn’t act like a gentleman. Some people who don’t fully grasp beyond surface level thought have suggested that the music video is sexist while gurning and eating sponges.

I considered putting some of the opinions here but then I got bored and had something to eat and made a coffee and now I am tired. Sorry.

Anyway, here’s a review of the video, done while watching it to give you a real unmediated instant impression:

It’s like the opening to Jackass. Kick that cone. He’s very good at pointing. He is dancing. The music is bleepy. Does he have eyes. He is doing a thriller dance. There is another person.  He has made a woman fall off a treadmill. He has eyes. I don’t really know what’s going on. This chorus might be good. Oh, no it’s not really. I guess people will say it’s good anyway. He’s basically just being a dick and dancing. I like his clothes. This whole thing is low budget and high budget at the same time. He is eating noodles or something. More dancing. I think this is what the soundtrack to hell is like. Oh here’s a coda. It sounds like another song. He is dancing with people on an indoor hockey pitch. The lyrics don’t make sense. Oh wait they’re Korean aren’t they. Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman Muta futa gentleman. Gentleman is an English word. Help me. He is eating dough. He is dancing. In a street. He just photocopied his face. I think I’m dead.

10/10 (I don’t know what is real anymore).

On the exact opposite end of the spectrum is Pusha T and Kanye West’s new song, Numbers on the Boards. Unlike Psy it had no massive build up and no lavish video. Or anything, actually. It was just kind of spontaneously released, supposedly as a reaction to releases by Jay-Z and some other guys, and the video is non-existent. It’s just a blank page on Kanye West’s website. They don’t even have album artwork. In fact, they literally only have the absence of album artwork as album artwork, which seems like the exact opposite of pimpin’ to me.

The music is similarly minimalist, right down to Pusha T’s laconic delivery – which, incidentally, sounds exactly like Kanye West’s drawl,even his trademark ‘Gawwd’ – and the droning, endlessly looping bass. In the midst of it all there’s an interlude that comes out of nowhere and lasts literally about 4 seconds and sounds like something straight from 1994, but then it’s back to that weird, strangely off sounding percussion and occasional sampled cheers. It works, but I have no idea why. It’s just really weird and interesting, so essentially typically Kanye then. This may as well be a Kanye track so thick is his influence over it. I mean, it’s on his website for god’s sake. There’s proteges and then there’s puppets. Pusha T, who featured on Kanye’s ‘GOOD Music’ compilation last year, sounds like the latter, but I don’t really care when it sounds good and means more Kanye.

Also, I’m going to have the phrase ‘Ballers, I put numbers on the boards’ in my head for weeks now. That’s unfortunate for someone of my pigmentation, since, as everyone knows from Vanilla Ice, when we try and say stuff like that it just sounds really sad and usually precedes extended periods of shunning.


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